Love After the Fantasy

What keeps people together and what quietly destroys them

The ideas in this journey

• Unlocking Mysticism's Secrets
  Jalaluddin Rumi · Rumi's wisdom travels beyond all borders and beliefs.
• How Our Relations Reveal Deeper Truths
  Ram Dass · Your relationships are mirrors for your soul.
• Why Love That Lasts Requires Distance
  Robert Frost · Good fences don't divide love. They make it possible.
• What if love isn't something you feel, but something you do?
  bell hooks
• What if love isn't a feeling but a choice you keep making?
  bell hooks
• Why We Love Who We Do
  Alain de Botton · We fall for ghosts, not people—and they're always from our childhood.
• Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
  Alain De Botton · You'll marry the wrong person. The question is what happens next.
• Why Affairs Happen
  Esther Perel · Affairs are less about sex and more about feeling alive.
• Why Love Hijacks Your Brain
  Helen Fisher · Love is the brain's most powerful drug.
• Can one emotion predict a breakup?
  John Gottman
• What if your partner isn't the problem?
  Stan Tatkin
• Why Your Relationship Problems Aren't About Communication
  Amir Levine · Your personality isn't the problem. Your attachment system is.
• What if the problem in your relationship isn't personal?
  Terry Real
• Intimacy Isn’t About Closeness
  David Schnarch · Passion emerges when you stand separate, not enmeshed.
• How to Move Smarter While Dating
  David Buss · Mismatched strategies feel like betrayal, but it's just evolution playing both sides.
• What if your partner's most annoying trait is the deal you already made?
  Dan Savage
• Why Your Relationships Feel Stuck
  Philippa Perry · Guilt is fleeting. Resentment festers forever.
• Can love exist without freedom?
  Simone de Beauvoir
• How to Love Like Neruda
  Pablo Neruda · He wanted to be consumed, not loved back.
• Should therapists hide their own struggles?
  Irvin Yalom

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